Death, Life and Somewhere in Between
by Wings-from-Below
Summary: Payne is a your average every day girl, or is she. After a horrific accident her life is nearly cut short if not for one helpful Shinigami and a deathnote. And what happens when one day she meets a certain black haired sugar addict? LxOC later on.
1. It Began with Death

_**Chapter one: It Began with Death**_

Moonlight illuminated the gravel path that cut through the forest. Night creatures sturred, waking from their sleep. Bull frogs could be heard from a near by pond, singing their deep love songs to each other. A gentle breeze stroked the leaves on the foliage causing them to shiver in pleasure. Then through the night's lullaby came a noise that wasn't natural. The distinctive sound of footfalls could be heard traveling down the narrow pathway. They weren't rushed even though most would feel the need to hasten their step at this unseemly hour of night. The forest continued it's melody as a young girl stepped into view of the moon's light. Though she couldn't have been pass the age of seventeen she had an air around her that suggested that she was older then her looks portrayed.

Her steps had sounded true, for she was in no rush. Rather her steps were slow and deliberate. She adjusted the large headphones that covered her ears even though no music played through them.They were merely a cover up to what she was really listening for. Subconsciously she began to play with a strand of her long, black hair and pulled her purse strap tighter.

_**Why is it...**_

Suddenly, to her right, came the sound of branches snapping as a large dark shadow of a man appeared on the pathway. He staggered slightly as he attempted to regain his balance. His loud entranced had silenced the forest and it remained that way as if waiting to see what would happen next. The girl hadn't moved from her position in the centre of the path. She loudly cleared her throat which attracted the man's attention toward her.

In his attempt to locate the sound he nearly lost his balance again. At first all he saw was a blurring smudge in his vision so he rubbed his blood shot eyes a few times to try to get the shape into focus. Finally he realized it was a young girl that stood before him. "Well well," he said with a slurred, cocky voice. "What have we here?" He took a few shaky steps towards the girl who still hadn't moved. "Are you lost?" He asked her as he moved forward again. She remained silent though her hands was slowly moving towards her headphones. "What's the matter with you!" He was shouting now, clearly losing patience with the situation. The man was close enough for her to smell the pungent alcohol that lingered on his breath.

_**That humans waste...**_

The drunk, who was now furious with the lack of emotions the girl was showing, quickly closed the remaining few feet between them. He brought his face down towards hers. "We'll just see how quiet you are when I'm done with you!" He spat venomously. Even though he was clearly beyond being wasted his grip on her arm was strong. By this point the teen's hands had reached the hot pink headphones. As the man turned away from her and tried to pull her towards the edge of the trail she slid the protective headphones away from her ears causing them to ring. She allowed herself to smirk which was quickly noticed by the man. "What the," he began but the rest of the sentence was lost as he looked back at the girl.

The moon slid behind a cloud as the young girl's body began to convulse. The sound of her bones breaking then being rearranged echoed through the night. Her flesh spasmed and tore only to seal up again leaving long scars. Skeletal like wings that were covered in what appeared to be spiderwebs protruded from her back as the transformation began to subside. Pushing the hair out of her now glowing red eyes, she turned her attention back towards her would be attacker who had fallen to the ground out of shock. Her smirk widened.

_**Their lives away...**_

"Today," she stated in her now raspy voice, "your time has run out. You have caused nothing but misery and suffering where you've walked. Now, is judgement day where what you have given is what you will receive." Pausing to take a glossy black notebook out of her purse. "Prepare yourself," she continued, "James Dwightfor I can assure you that nothing pleasant awaits you in the afterlife." She began to scribble something down in the notebook.

Suddenly the man's face contorted in pain. "What are you?" he asked through gritted teeth.The left side of his body hurt didn't actually hurt but something was wrong. He clutched his left arm as he waited for the thing in front of him to reply.

_**Only to find...**_

The once human looking girl thought for a moment before answering. "I am neither human nor shinigami, rather a grey area between the two," she began. "I am alive yet also dead. I breathe but possess no heartbeat. I feel sadness but am unable to cry. So if you do not know what I am then neither do I." The man's already wide eyes somehow became larger as this knowledge sunk in.

"Now though," the girl stated, "you should be more worried about your own health then what I am." The man realized that the monster was right. The pain in his chest was becoming unbearable. With every passing moment his fear increased which caused his heart to beat faster making the heart attack work only quicker. In mere minutes since the girl first wrote his name in the deadly notebook, the man lay on the gravel path with his eyes glazed over. On that night James Dwight, an alcoholic, thief, and forgotten father of four paid for his sins with his life.

_**That death's so close?**_

She returned the headphones that sealed her powers to their original position making sure that her pointed ears were completely covered. Once she had become human in her appearance again she placed the notebook back in her purse and adjusted the strap once more. She glanced at the body one last time to make sure someone could easily find it and then continued on down the path. The night finally let go of the breath that it was holding and the music of the forest played on once more.


	2. Listen and Learn

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Deathnote nor its characters, no matter how much I wish I did. However, Payne and Arisk (who comes into play later) and the other few minor ones are all mine. _

_Author's Note__: Here the second chapter. Sorry but I have to get the boring parts over with now but I promise it get much better later on. I just need to explain a bit more in order for the story to make sense so please bear with me._

_**Chapter two: Listen and Learn**_

Payne knew that she should pay attention to what her physics teacher was saying, but she found it nearly impossible to stop her eyelids from sliding over her emerald green eyes and staying closed. She stifled a yawn as she let her mind wander away from the classroom and towards the events of the previous night. Payne thought back to the man who had appeared on the pathway that lead through the forest. It hadn't startled her when he had emerged from the forest's undergrowth. No, she had known he was there because she could see his name clearly floating above his head.

It was one of the perks to having shinigami blood running through her veins. It could also be irritating at times. Everywhere she looked was a sea of names and numbers. Sometimes Payne found it hard to focus on one individual alone. It was even harder knowing the date that they would die. A little part of her felt somewhat sorry for the ones who died young.

She fingered her headphones as her train of thought traveled farther and farther away from the workbook in front of her. Surprisingly enough her teachers had believed the note that she had forged at the beginning of the year that stated she needed to wear the head gear at all times or she would receive extreme migraines from any noise. _If only they knew the real reason that I wear them is to stop from changing into a rotting corpse _she thought to herself.

"Miss Sabina! Care to join me after class?"

Her thought bubble popped at the loud protest from her teacher. He had finally noticed that she hadn't been paying close attention and had felt the need to correct the issue. She refocused her thought back the the numbers on the blackboard though she already knew the solution to the complex equation written in white dust. Angled her body so that she could see both the board and the clock, she was certain that the time device despised her by how slowly the hands moved, she waited for class to end.

Loud laughter rang through the narrow hallways as students of Davidson High School headed their separate ways. Some made plans to get together over the weekend while others rushed to meet their dates. The biggest news that was traveling the halls today was that Joey Gate was throwing a party at his house while both his parents were away on business. Word was that he had invited the entire student body though Payne had no urge to attend. She was as antisocial as a seventeen year old girl could get choosing to stay at home then to go out partying.

Payne inwardly smiled as she eavesdropped on a group of girls as they headed towards the front doors of the school. They were so carefree, Payne envied them. They didn't possess the knowledge that one of them wouldn't live long enough to graduate. She sighed as she leaned against the somewhat white walls of the school waiting for her teacher to call her into the classroom. As she waited she allowed her gaze to travel around the quickly dissipating crowd reading names and numbers out of sheer boredom.

Seconds turned into minutes as she silently waited. What was taking him so long? Usually by now most would believe that they had been either forgotten or forgiven and leave, but Payne refused to think this. By now the halls were eerily quite and empty. She could hear the janitor start up the floor polisher. With a loud bang, one of the cafeteria staff dropped a metal tray on the tile floor. The headphones helped to soften these sounds, but Payne still struggled to not shiver. Her senses had been heighten, especially her hearing, since she had taken on the role of being a death god. Though it had never really been her choice.

Across the hall from where she stood was the teacher's lounge. Their voices drifted towards Payne who would have just tuned them out, like the rest of the world, if not for them going quiet on their own. Out of curiosity Payne stuck her head through the already opened door to see what had got their attention.

"Shh it's on again!" said an aging man from over where the television stood. So this was where her physics teacher had been hiding. He reached towards the remote to increase the volume. Payne looked at the screen to see a female news broadcaster reporting from what appeared to be a pathway surrounded by trees. A serious looking police officer stood beside the reporter responding to their constant stream of questions.

_"That's correct." stated the officer. "An anonymous phone call was received done at the station around three o'clock last night informing us of someone laying face down on the west bound Grett Walking Trail. Once we arrived on the scene the paramedics were already there and pronounced him dead."_

_"Do you have any idea of who he is?" the reporter probed then quickly aimed the mic back towards the officer for the answer._

_"We located a driver's license on the body identifying him as one James Dwight. We searched his name on our database only to discover that he was wanted for grand theft auto on several charges."_

_"Do you have any idea what might have caused his death?" It was clear that the reporter was hoping for an answer along the lines of foul play. Her body tensed as she waited for the answer._

_"According to the autopsy he died of a heart attack that may have been caused by the large quantity of alcohol he had consumed prior."_

_"Thank you for your time officer. Now to Nancy with the weather."_

Payne's teacher turned the volume back down as the long range forecast began to scroll across the screen. He turned to face the other teachers that were sitting on a well used red sofa. "You know," he started, "another body turned up last month over in Abbotville." He stroked his chin thoughtfully, something Payne had noticed he did a lot, then continued on with his train of thought. "You don't suppose that they're connected do you?" He looked pointedly at Mrs. Keen, the law teacher.

"Now Paul Trent, I'm sure that the police would have said something if we had a serial killer on the loose." She said reassuringly. "Besides, how who someone induce a heart attack? Jump out of the bushes and shout 'Boo'? Be reasonable." She smiled. "You're just over thinking things again."

"Yeah." stated Mr. Dinh. "You always over think things."

"Unlike you." Mr Trent muttered under his breath. Payne had to quickly cover her mouth in order to stop from laughing out loud. Mr. Dinh ,AKA "Mr. Dim", was known for his muscle not his brains.

"Still" Mrs. Keen continued giving both men a cold stare, "Those trails go on for miles. It would be almost impossible to get help if you did get hurt and a heart attack isn't something that most people survive even if they do."

"I guess you're right." Mr Trent said dropping the subject though Payne knew that he could go on for hours if he really wanted to. The topic quickly changed to test preparation and grading. Payne quickly retreated from the lounge with some much helpful information. So the police knew nothing, though she had expected as much. What kind of killer would go through all the trouble of inducing a heart attack when a knife in the back worked just as well? Besides no one knew or less believed that a notebook could kill. Payne decided to leave the school without see the physics teacher. He had all too quickly seen the connection between the two deaths.

'Rough' would be the first word to come to mind when describing the part of town that Payne lived in. Many of the buildings were old brick apartments that were run-down and in disrepair. The same went for the building that she was currently staying in if not more so. Hers was the last on one of the many side streets that led away from the hub of London. The smog was thick today and the sky was over casted. She quicken her pace as she headed down one of the many dark alleyways that she used as a short cut. Had it been a normal day she would have traveled home along the trail, but she didn't dare risk it when it was surely swarming with the police and search dogs. If they caught her scent they would question her and that would lead to different complications. No it was safer to head the way she was now.

Upon reaching her "home" she dug around her cluttered black and green book bag for the key to the door. Eventually she located it and inserted it into the keyhole, turning it to the right and wiggling the knob at the same time. She then entered her one bedroom apartment. "I'm home." She called out into the dark room not expecting anyone to answer. She merely did it as a precaution in case anyone had broken in and was still around. Tossing her book bag in the general direction of the couch, she turned her attention towards the fridge. Inside was the ham sandwich she had made that morning. She began to eat it as she lay back on the couch that also served as her bed. Adjusting the headphones so they didn't dig into the back of her skull, she let her thoughts wonder. She felt somewhat bad that she had killed the man, but if she didn't the shinigami part of her would start to act up. Sometimes she would partly transform even with the headphones on. Payne, after a great amount of testing, had learned that she had to kill one human every month to prevent this from happening. Sighing deeply she took another bite of the sandwich. Never had she asked for the curse of being half human half god. Rather it had been thrust upon her. As she lay there Payne thoughts turned back to that fateful day when she had first met Arisk.


	3. Midnight Murder

_**Disclaimer**__**: **__I don't own Deathnote nor its characters, no matter how much I wish I did. However, Payne and Arisk and the other few minor ones are all mine. _

_**Author's Note**__: The following happens twelve years earlier then the story's present time. _

_**Warning! This chapter contains graphic scenes and mild language!**_

_**Chapter 3: **_

The kitchen smelt like gingerbread. Dirty bowls and pans lay about the countertop and sticky icing of different colours was splattered on the floor. Five year old Payne sat atop a stool close to the island in the center of the room as she pressed a cookiecutter shaped like a man into the thick dough. She left the cutter in place as she tore the dough away from its sides. Placing the cookie into the palm of her hand she held it out for her mother's inpection. "Look Mommy! It's Daddy." She cried happily.

"My!" Her mother, Grace, exclaimed in mock surprise. "It looks just like him!" She took the cookie from her daughter to place it on a flat pan. Before she placed him on the cookie sheet she held his arms and made the cookie look like it was dancing, making Payne giggle with amusment. She turned back towards her daughter in time to recieve two new cookie. "And who are they?" She asked Payne.

"It's me and you Mommy!" Payne explained excitedly. She was very proud of herself. Her mother took the cookies, one resembled a woman in a skirt and the other a smaller version of the first, over to the pan and placed them beside the man. "Now we're all together." Payne stated. Grace smiled lovingly towards her daughter and was about to reply when the doorbell resounded sharply.

"Grandma!" Payne shouted excitedly as she jumped off the stool she was precarlessly perched upon, which toppled to the floor in her haste, and sprinted towards the front door. It had been over a year since the last time she had laid eyes on her mother's mother. A few years ago Payne had asked her mother why her grandmother only came once a year and why they couldn't visit her. Her mother had stood there for a few moments debating on how to explain. She had said that Grandma lived far away in a special place where people took care of her. Payne still didn't understand what her mother was trying to say that day but she knew better then to press for a less criptic answer by the pained expression on her mother's face.

Payne had to strech her slender form in order to reach the shiny, golden knob that was attached to the front door. With a twist of her hands and a hard tug, Payne managed to swing the large wooden door open which revieled a hardened form. "Grandma!" she cried again and flung her arms around the aging woman.

"It's good to see you Mom." Payne's mother said as Payne grabbed her gandmother's hand and began to pull her inside. The old woman gave a slight nod, the only indcation that she had heard her daughter's greeting. Her blood shot eyes shifted around in their sockets as she took in her new surroundings. Grace sturggled to surpress a shiver. Her mother appeared to be in worst condition since the last time she had seen her. It was clear that she wasn't sleeping by the large purple bruises under her sagging eyes and even with a heavy shirt on her ribs were visible. Her pills weren't working. Again.

"Why don't you take Grandma to her room and help her unpack Payne?" Grace suggested. She bent over and lifted the surprisingly light luggage off the ground. Motioning with her chin for Payne to go first, she headed after the two retreating figures as they disapeared down the narrow hallway. Payne's mother signed inwardly. As with all of her mother's visits Grace always felt paranoid that something bad would happen from the time her mother entered the house, and the feeling only left when she did. At least this year John, her ex husband, wouldn't be there to complain about the house guest.

A little under a year ago Grace had made the decision to leave her husband. Their marriage had started off well enough, but within the first two years he began to show signs of being abusive. It started with words but ended in blows. Grace thought that she could take it in order for her daughter, who was two when it started, to have a father figure, somthing she hadn't had. But when he hit Payne for the first time when she was four, Grace knew she had to act in order to keep her daughter safe. Once the divorce went through and she was free she realized that a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Only a few months later John died from alcohol poisioning.

When she and John had been together, they always fought about her mother's visits. John was against it in the worst way saying that he didn't want to be around someone who was crazy. Grace fought back in order to defend her mother,but at the same time could see his point. Still, she insisted that her mother come because she was the only family, besides her daughter and husband, that she had left. In the end Grace preveiled but then John would go out and become intoxicated. So it was a win lose situation.

But now that he was gone, she could do as she pleased. Grace lived her quiet life with her daughter in peace and without fear. She set the bags she had been carrying in the guest bedroom and left to go check on the now baked cookies.

Supper wasn't an extravagant meal. Rather it consisted of Kraft Dinner and hotdogs. Payne sat across from her grandmother while her mother sat to her left. She watched as her mother handed her grandmother what looked to her to be small colourful pieces of candy. Payne thought that it was strange that Grandma had dessert before the meal, something she never got away with. Her grandmother placed the candy, which was infact her medication, in her mouth and signaled to Grace that she needed a glass of water to swallow them. As Payne's mother left to fill the glass, her grandmother spat the pills back into her hand and placed them into her pocket. She noticed Payne watching her and held her index finger over her thin lips, telling Payne that she shouldn't tell her mother about what she had seen her grandmother do, that it was a secret. Payne understood and didn't say anything when her mother returned with the water, which her grandmother readily drank. Nothing else, including conversation, happened during the remaining portion of the meal.

Nightfall came quickly after supper. The dying sun gave off a golden glow as it slowly sunk on the horizon. Twilight was Payne's favourite time, there was still enough light for her to see by, but at the same time the soothing sounds of night could be heard though the crack of the open window. She breathed in deeply and through all of the smells her brain resgestered, the most prodominate being that of the Christmas tree in the living room. In just two days time it would be Christmas morning and Payne, like most young children, could already feel the antisapation growing inside her. She stared at the heavily decorated tree from her makeshift bed in the living room.

Normally Payne slept with her mother, but recently she had taken to sleeping on the couch. The main reason for the change was because no matter which way she tossed and turned Payne couldn't fall asleep. Her mother said it might be her excitement for Christmas getting the best of her, but Payne knew the true reason. Each night as Payne lay in the bed with her mother she could feel the walls of the already small room closing in on her. It made it extremely hard for her to get oxygen into her lungs and her heart beat much too quickly to feel comfortable. After half a week of sleepless nights she had decided to move out into the living room, mainly bcause it was the largest room in the cramped house, but telling her mother that she wanted to make sure to see Santa this year. In any case her claustrophbia was more behaved at night.

Payne wrapped the thick quilt tighter around her slender form in an effort to keep the cold away. She punched her pillow in an attempt to make it more fluffy than lumpy and closed her eyes in antisipation of sleep. Coming from her mother's room was the gently sound of snoring. It was a comforting sound for her, one that acted much like a lullaby. Then a new sound broke through the snoring and at first Payne couldn't fgure out what it was. She strained her ears to find to source of the unusual sound. It was a low, constant mumbling coming from the room her grandmother slept in. Briftly she wondered if her grandmother was talking in her sleep, something she did on occasion. Payne hoped that whatever she was dreaming about was cheerful, though the sound suggested otherwise. She didn't dwell on it long, sleep claiming Payne in mere minutes of her head touching the pillow.

It wasn't an abnormal sound that roused Payne from her slumber on the sofa, rather it was the soft sound of footsteps on carpet that made her snap her eyes open. She could hear her mother rolling over in her sleep and, momentarily forgetting that her grandmother was staying with them, wondered if someone had broken in. As silently as a five year old could manage she slid off the sofa and padded over to the nearest closet, intending to stay hidden from the intruder. Before she reached it though, a pale figure regestered in the corner of her vision. At first Payne thought it was a ghost. The figure was dressed in a long, white, flowing nightgown with bare feet and long silver hair hanging down its back. But on closer inspection, the frighten Payne realized that it was her grandmother. She stood from the crouched position she had been in and returned to her make shift bed. Payne watched as her grandmother made her way towards her room and was about to close her eyes again when her grandmother walked pass the door to the room she was staying in and instead walking in to Payne's mother's room. It was then that Payne noticed the object that she held. It was a long, sharp, knife.

Payne froze in fear. Her shocking green eyes followed her grandmother as she entered Grace's room. Payne couldn't see past her grandmother, who stood in the doorway, into the room. She strained her over sensitve ears to hear what was happening. The bed groaned as Payne's mother sat up and mumbled a half formed question as to why she was in her room. The next thing Payne heard was a sharp gasp followed by the sounds of a struggle. Payne watched the shadows on the wall merge with each other again and again until one fell to the ground, a hand cluching it's side. The other dark form raised its arm, with glittering knife in hand, and brought it down hard upon the kneeling shadow. Red splattered against the white wall. The sound of her grandmother's blank voice sent a chill through Payne's body. "I have saved you, my daughter, from the sins of this world. Now nothing can taint your beautiful soul."

As the knife was pulled out of Grace's back, Payne managed to move her body from it's frozen state on the couch and on to the floor. She began to crawl towards the closet once more when her grandmother stepped out of the bedroom. Payne made it half way to the closet before her grandmother saw her. "Now now Payne," she chidded, "you have nothing to fear. Come to me." She bent into a crouch and extended her arms towards her terrified granddaughter.

"Stay away!" Payne cried, her voice cracking in fear. She now had her back against the closet door. Warm salty tears flowed freely down she soft cheeks as she looked up into her grandmother's cold face. Payne's green eyes widen in horror as her grandmother raised the knife in antisapation of its near future use. "Please don't hurt me!" she pleaded in an effort to avoid the invertable.

""Don't worry my child." her soon to be murderer cooed "Soon you shall join your mother and be free of pain. God is waiting for you, now let me lead you into his warm embrace." Suddenly the old woman jerked her head back towards the bedroom, her caring expression vanishing and replaced by one of meniace. "Quiet you." she stated through gritted teeth. "This is my family and I will do as I see fit." She paused as if she was listening to a reply even though Payne couldn't see anyone else in the room. She turned back towards her grand daughter only to find her missing. Payne had seen her distraction as an opportunity to crawl away. She had made it halfway to the kitchen by the time her grandmother realized that she was missing. "Damn it all!" The old woman growled, "This is all your fault! How am I suppose to save them if you keep interupting me?" She looked around the empty room in an atempt to find her missing grand daugher.

Payne's heart was beating so hard she was sure that it would rip through her chest any moment now. When her grandmother had looked away Payne had fled into the kitchen and hidden inside the cupboard below the sink. She could hear her grandmother talking to herself in the living room, but didn't dare to chance a look incase she was seen. Her mind was racing with unanswered question. Was her mother really dead and was she going to die too? Why wash her grandmother doing this and who did she keep talking to? As these and other questions floated around in Payne's head she heard her grandmother leave the living room and enter the kitchen in hopes of finding her missing grandchild. The young child held her breath and willed her pounding heart to be still, sure that the whole world could here it. As the sounds of footsteps grew closer to where she hid, Payne closed her eyes and prayed to whoever that she would'nt be discovered. Her grandmother started systematically opening the cupboards. There were six between her and the one Payne was hidden in. Woosh pause bang, nothing. Woosh pause bang, nothing. Again and again cupboard doors opened and closed as her grandmother searched. One, two, Payne counted in her head. Three, four, she braced herself for what was coming. Five, her mind sceamed in fear knowing even in her young age that she was seconds from death. Her hands clenched and unchenched and she gritted her teeth. Woosh pause bang. Six. Then, nothing.

It felt like an eternity had passed before Payne found the courage to open her green eyes. She was still in darkness, her cupboard's doors had yet to be opened. Ever so slowly she pressed them open olny to be met with the dead gaze from her grandmother's lifeless eyes. A sceam riped forth from her lips as Payne stared at the corpse. As quickly as she could. she fled from the cupboard and tried to run from the room only to run smack dab into a solid object. Payne fell back from the impack into a pool of her grandmother's blood and felt her hand touch something that felt like paper. At first Payne was confused and looked down to see what new horror faced her only to find a scrap of paper under her fingertips. The paper was also covered in blood and the writing was too blurred to read. Repulsed, she drew her hand away only to catch a glimpse of movement in the corner of her vision. Payne snapped her head around to locate the movement only to let lose another terrified scream. There before her stood the most grotesque creature she had even seen.

AN: My apologize for this chapter taking forever to write. I had a serious case of writer's block. I'm hoping to post the next chapter before Christmas but that all depends on how much free time I get. If you have any questions or comments or have an idea for the story, feel free to leave a review. Thanks and I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I promise that L will make an appearance soon.


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